It was only three months after I gave my heart to Christ when God whispered a line in my ear. It was an odd line. A creative line. A line I could squeeze 300+ pages out of. And I did. I prayed into the line, stayed up late to build around the line, stressed about the line, until I made a book out of it - the book I was called to write from the very beginning of time. And it was in writing that book where I discovered who I was as a daughter, a writer, and an artist, the girl who I spent my whole life trying to connect with. This book, which was never intended to be published, became more than just a project, but a promise. This was how God introduced His real and honest heart to me. This was how God revealed who I was in Him. And it makes perfect sense to me now, for the I AM to reveal who I am. What a revelation to have from the Creator calling you to create, the Author calling you to write, the Lover calling you to love. As a child of the Most High, it only makes sense that I inherit His traits - traits that lead me into my destiny with plans that give hope and a future.
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My name is Ayana, and I am the author of How I Fell in Love with Myself. While the book has an ending, the story actually never ends. Every single day, there is a step I need to take to fall in love with myself, to become more secure in my identity and more confident in every move I make. For me, this is only made possible by submitting to The One who made me. I know from experience that I cannot possibly like myself if I separate from my Creator. And, looking back now, I don't know why I would ever want to separate from Him in the first place. The Man speaks light into existence, defeats lifelong illnesses with a single word, paints the sky every morning and night, and brings life back to dead bodies. No one else can do that. So, with a God like that calling me His daughter, how irrational would it be to ever doubt what I can do. Furthermore, if God is that great, then what does that say about me?
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Am I not a temple of the Holy Spirit? Am I not a House of Prayer? Don't I shower in His inexplicable great love and dress with the Armor of God? I may have ink on my unclean hands, but my Father can make it beautiful, putting the ink to use and calling me "author". Therefore, I am a poem waiting to happen. When my heart turns to ice, I write until it’s ice cream.
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With God as my Father and Christ in my heart, I have enough strength to do anything. Colliding my small idea and little faith with the Creator of heaven and earth, I am expected to expect miracles, excepted to dream and do big things - things that I can't do on my own, things that I am way too unqualified for.
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It only makes sense.
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It makes sense that when the idea doesn't go my way, I can take it to The Way - Yahweh. It makes sense for my anxiety and depression to bow down to Joy Himself.
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No wonder why I am more than a conqueror. No wonder why I feel safe in His presence. No wonder why I have a front row seat to all of God's promises and provision, faithfulness and support. I am a child of the King, and like my father, I am royalty. I am beautiful. And I am called to do what a princess does - to love Him, to love others, to love every day the Lord has made, and to love myself.
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So, I've already won the battles that come along with taking leaps of faith. All I have to do now is fight. And I will fight, I will be confident, and like my father, I will overcome.
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