Updated: Aug 30, 2019
Sunday's are the days where I'm supposed to have all of my words. But today, I have none. This morning I signed my book for more people than I have ever dreamed of. Considering the fact that I already dream big, this is a huge deal.
To start writing a book at fourteen years old, having no idea where it could go, what it could do, and most significantly, how long it would take, it's amazing to see the reality of it all come to life, where hundreds of people would line up just to get a copy of my book. The sight gave me goosebumps. I will most likely dream about it from now until forever. But even through my excitement and through my gratitude, I refuse to take any of the glory.
On the surface, my book, "How I Fell in Love with Myself", is very pleasing and simple. But in between are pages that could never have been written if it weren't for my Savior, Jesus Christ. It's not even the completed pages that give me reasons to give Him all glory. If anything, it's more of what happened outside of them. Time and time again, night after night, I would have to fight my way through a very heavy season of doubt, where I wondered if it will ever happen, if I was truly worthy enough to even be called an author. And time and time again, night after night, God was there. While He was more than just there, (the grace He has shown me is amazing), that's really all I needed Him to be. I just needed Him present. I needed Him close. While anyone else would've been scared away by my dry season of doubt and weakness, He remained faithful, He remained loving, and He remained present. Without His remaining, I assure you, there would be no book.
So I refuse to take any glory. It doesn't take much for me to remember that this is a fulfillment of God's promise and not my own doing because of who God has proven Himself to be in the darkest moments of my life. I just can't separate God from the long line waiting to get my book when He was there in the long nights, close by when I was feeling doubtful. I just can't do it. And I won't. I've seen too much to dismiss Him now. Because the truth is, I'm just the writer. I know God will take it the rest of the way.